Can you please critique my thesis sentence?

Can you please critique my thesis sentence? Topic: Can you please critique my thesis sentence?
June 18, 2019 / By Alline
Question: Here's the question that I have to answer: Describe and analyze the actions the of the supreme court of the U.S. in creating a single nation from the several states during the period from 1800 to 1860? My thesis sentence: The United States was the product of the constitution's appointment of the Supreme court. Please let me know what you think, tell me if it's boring, if it's wrong, or if it doesn't make sense and please offer me suggestions to make it better. Thank you so much... can you tell me how to make it better please? How about this: The United States came together to form a single nation through the actions of the Supreme Court.
Best Answer

Best Answers: Can you please critique my thesis sentence?

Uzal Uzal | 10 days ago
The statement needs to be explained. The United States predates the Supreme court by a number of years, arguing some causal relationship would be difficult. The United States also has many different facets, be specific as to which one you are referring. The unified nature of the modern political structure of the US might be the result of the supreme court's actions, but arguing that the entire country is dependent on the supreme court's actions would again be very difficult. Additionally, your use of the passive voice makes the thesis weaker. Make the verb active instead of using the more passive "United States was created". Furthermore, the constitution did not appoint the supreme court. The constitution makes provisions for a supreme court, but it certainly doesn't appoint them. Write about the supreme court. There is no need to mention the constitution's role in the thesis, simply the historical actions of the Supreme Court. edit: That would work, but you probably want to make the supreme court the subject and the United States the object of the sentence. Instead of "the United States came together to form a single nation through the actions of the Supreme Court" try something along the lines of "the actions of the Supreme Court contributed significantly to the creation of a single nation in the United States." This additionally will help you avoid overstating the influence of the court. There were many things that influenced the United States during that period, your current thesis implies that the Supreme Court was the only one.
👍 228 | 👎 10
Did you like the answer? Can you please critique my thesis sentence? Share with your friends
Uzal Originally Answered: Will someone please critique my thesis?
I think that the second statement is much better; it is not nearly as vague as the first, and does a better job of describing Oedipus' fate relative to the knowledge he possessed about his fate beforehand. You would have a much easier time of building an argument around this statement as well (by citing specific situations that were hindered by his aforementioned knowledge and the ways that this knowledge influenced his actions, ect). However, I notice two key points in your argument that could be a problem. One is that you must explain why one's knowledge of their unfortunate fate will necessarily lead to their judgements becoming impaired, rather than heightened or remain at base-level. This will probably be an easy point to support, but I feel that it requires some clarification regardless. The same goes for the idea that his convolutions will only contribute to the inevitability of what must come to pass. It would be very beneficial to you to explain why his desperate actions contribute to the inevitability of what must come to pass. Again, some clarification would be very helpful to your argument. These are the main problems I see though, and aside from them, everything SEEMS to be fine. Good luck with your paper

Rodney Rodney
You have two problems here. First of all, you seem to be getting caught up on your title unecessarily. If I were you (and I have a BA in history) I would call the thing: "The Making of America and the Supreme Court, 1800-1860" Now, comes your real work. Go find out what were the major decisions during that 60 year period. Which ones of them contributed to solidifying America legally, and which ones culturally? And which ones, like Dred Scott, in the !850's, helped keep America from coming together. Here's some help, in the pre-Civil War era, there was a constant battle between the rights of states, and the power of the Federal government. However, besides the run up to the Civil War, the Supreme Court decided a lot of things which helped shape America, and give us our unique identity. Start reading decisions, and keep the title simple.
👍 90 | 👎 3

Mike Mike
The thesis sentence is incorrect and off topic. The constitution did not appoint the supreme court. The president with the senate's confirmation appoints members to the Supreme Court. The second one is better, but still not worded correctly. Perhaps: The actions of the Supreme Court helped to solidify the colonies into one nation.
👍 81 | 👎 -4

Julyan Julyan
It is my sincere wish that students would STOP referring to an essay ( french for 'to try") as a thesis. what you are doing is EXPOSITORY writing, ie, trying to explain some point. If your teacher says thesis, jump up and chock the ignoramus. Look up various styles of expository writing. School will be way less confusing for you. Pass this on.
👍 72 | 👎 -11

Harris Harris
i'm not attempting to alter your paper, yet with the intention to be thorough and have your paper to be as long because it would, how approximately getting to know slightly bearing directly to the historic past of braces?
👍 63 | 👎 -18

Harris Originally Answered: THESIS sentence HELP!?
"With the US economy suffering from the Great Depression, the President and his administration attempted to take steps to help the citizens of the country survive this crisis." That sums up all the ideas you have in that paragraph.

If you have your own answer to the question Can you please critique my thesis sentence?, then you can write your own version, using the form below for an extended answer.