Grandmother interfering?

Grandmother interfering? Topic: Grandmother interfering?
July 16, 2019 / By Ailward
Question: How do you politely tell someone to get off your child’s back? My live-in mother is constantly on top of my son. For example, he was given homework to color in a coloring book to exercise his wrist muscles (he is having difficulties with motor coordination) and was enjoying coloring at his pace and choosing different colors, etc. My mother was hovering over him telling him to “color within the line, don’t color so fast, you are getting tired and you need to stop.” etc. It didn’t matter that he was coloring out of line, we just need him to strengthen his muscles and she was trying to control the process. I wanted to yell at her to “Get off of his back and let him do it the way he wants to!” but I didn’t want to yell at her in front of my son because I don’t want him to think he can talk to her that way when discipline is really needed. How do you talk to someone when it’s their way or the highway? I know she will be insulted, but I am tired the way she is constantly interfering with the way he pick out his clothes, what kind of fruit he chose to eat, etc. He doesn’t need a 3rd parent when my husband and I are already taking care of things. If she hears us discipline him, she can be counted on to add her 2 cents during that moment or will later take him to the side for another scolding even though we have resolved the issue. When I bring it up, she quickly tells me how she was "trying to help", even though I told her we don't need her help. I think it's some kind of sick entertainment for her. How do you deal with someone like this? Excellent idea about getting her out, but she will only go if I go with her. That's pretty tough when I work 40 hours a week and have to commute a total of 2 hours back and forth.
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Best Answers: Grandmother interfering?

Suzanna Suzanna | 9 days ago
Sadly, interfering gives her purpose. With her children grown she does not have a life. She needs things to do. You should take her to volunteer at senior centers. You can go with her the first few times. and then after that you make yourself unavailable to participate. You can still drop her off. You can also take her to bingo and repeat the process. When you see her heading toward your son, pick his things up and move him into a different room. Then ask her for help in the kitchen. Best wishes
👍 206 | 👎 9
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Suzanna Originally Answered: Quotes from 1700s about not interfering in other countries?
You could refer to Washington's Farewell Address in which he states a non-interventionalist policy. Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. Religion and morality enjoin this conduct. And can it be that good policy does not equally enjoin it? It will be worthy of a free, enlightened, and at no distant period a great nation to give to mankind the magnanimous and too novel example of a people always guided by an exalted justice and benevolence. Who can doubt that in the course of time and things the fruits of such a plan would richly repay any temporary advantages which might be lost by a steady adherence to it? Can it be that Providence has not connected the permanent felicity of a nation with its virtue? The experiment, at least, is recommended by every sentiment which ennobles human nature. Alas! is it rendered impossible by its vices? In the execution of such a plan nothing is more essential than that permanent, inveterate antipathies against particular nations and passionate attachments for others should be excluded, and that in place of them just and amicable feelings toward all should be cultivated. The nation which indulges toward another an habitual hatred or an habitual fondness is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest. Antipathy in one nation against another disposes each more readily to offer insult and injury, to lay hold of slight causes of umbrage, and to be haughty and intractable when accidental or trifling occasions of dispute occur. So, likewise, a passionate attachment of one nation for another produces a variety of evils. Sympathy for the favorite nation, facilitating the illusion of an imaginary common interest in cases where no real common interest exists, and infusing into one the enmities of the other, betrays the former into a participation in the quarrels and wars of the latter without adequate inducement or justification. It leads also to concessions to the favorite nation of privileges denied to others, which is apt doubly to injure the nation making the concessions by unnecessarily parting with what ought to have been retained, and by exciting jealousy, ill will, and a disposition to retaliate in the parties from whom equal privileges are withheld; and it gives to ambitious, corrupted, or deluded citizens (who devote themselves to the favorite nation) facility to betray or sacrifice the interests of their own country without odium, sometimes even with popularity, gilding with the appearances of a virtuous sense of obligation, a commendable deference for public opinion, or a laudable zeal for public good the base or foolish compliances of ambition, corruption, or infatuation.... Against the insidious wiles of foreign influence (I conjure you to believe me, fellow-citizens) the jealousy of a free people ought to be constantly awake, since history and experience prove that foreign influence is one of the most baneful foes of republican government. But that jealousy, to be useful, must be impartial, else it becomes the instrument of the very influence to be avoided, instead of a defense against it. Excessive partiality for one foreign nation and excessive dislike of another cause those whom they actuate to see danger only on one side, and serve to veil and even second the arts of influence on the other. Real patriots who may resist the intrigues of the favorite are liable to become suspected and odious, while its tools and dupes usurp the applause and confidence of the people to surrender their interests. The great rule of conduct for us in regard to foreign nations is, in extending our commercial relations to have with them as little political connection as possible. So far as we have already formed engagements let them be fulfilled with perfect good faith. Here let us stop. Europe has a set of primary interests which to us have none or a very remote relation. Hence she must be engaged in frequent controversies, the causes of which are essentially foreign to our concerns. Hence, therefore, it must be unwise in us to implicate ourselves by artificial ties in the ordinary vicissitudes of her politics or the ordinary combinations and collisions of her friendships or enmities.

Raschelle Raschelle
I think you need to sit her down and make it abundantly clear that you are the parents and she is not, and therefore, she has no say in the way your son is raised. What she is doing to him is terrible. He will not grow up to respect her at all and if you do not stop her now, your son will begin to fear her, that's just the environment she is feeding with her behaviour. Tell your mum that she needs to step back and leave you to raise your child, and that she is not helping. If she then refuses, and keeps doing what she's doing, tell her that she will no longer be welcome to live in your house. Tell her that this is what will happen if things continue the way they are going. It's as simple as that, your child must come first. Good luck.
👍 80 | 👎 1

Merideth Merideth
She is bore and trying to keep herself busy by controlling your son.Just take her to a senior citizen activity and enroll her so that she can be very active and when she is back she can sleep.
👍 72 | 👎 -7

Leone Leone
You could send her to a old-age home. Or maybe just separate the kids from her. But treat her with respect as she deserves it and is your living mother after all.
👍 64 | 👎 -15

Leone Originally Answered: MY Grandmother PASSED AWAY.?
Um only if they don't contact your parents first. . . Just do what you were supposed to do in the first place and get the butthurt over with. You know you're gonna get one way or another.
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