How do I deal with this - with my mother?
Topic: How do I deal with this - with my mother?
June 27, 2019 / By Amalee Question:
Here is my story:
I am in grade 11. I didn't do very good this year compared to last year. The last report card yielded all As, a B, and two Cs. Last year it was like all As and two Bs.
Of course, my mother got very surprised and she became more strict with me. At many times, she called me a failure and at many times sat down with my big sister to discuss my future if I failed high school. Failed high school?? Mom it's just a couple of Cs.
I know these Cs are no good, but I hope I can improve.
So that's what I told my mother. Did I improve? No. I maintained these bad grades.
One night, I was playing my PlayStation 3 at like 11:05 PM on a school night. I try to sleep at 11:00 PM max on a school night, but I was on this last match and was gonna sleep after it. That's when my mom came back from work and saw me playing - took the controllers and told me to sleep. I wasn't too bothered.
She kept them with her for about two weeks and she promised to give the back when the December 5 - Jan 4 (something like that) starts. Now that's a massive holiday.
I was studying and doing homework and stuff motivated by the prize that was to come in the holiday - the controllers.
One day before the break, my mother was impressed with my effort and she gave back the controllers.
I played and kept playing when the holiday came. One time, I played from like 9:00 PM till like 7:00 AM. Yep, it's not healthy and stuff. I shouldn't have done it. My mother noticed tha tI woke up late and she asked my why - she took the controllers and said that I don't deserve them. I told her that I won't do it again and that I was crazy. That actually helped her in making her point as she said that these video games are making you crazy and you shouldn't play them.
It's been like 2-3 days since. There's 26 days left for this break including today. She's telling me to wake up at 6 AM everyday, study till afternoon, take a 1 hour nap, then continute till my bedtime at 10 PM and repeat the cycle. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....
Man I swear to God I waited so long for these controllers and I studied hard and then she takes em away just like that. She's now getting used to taking the controllers. She never treated me like that...man I was soooo independent before. It must be the bad grades that got her like this. I used to play till like 4 AM in the summer days and she was okay with that. Man, I would go sleepless sometimes with my PlayStation 2 last school year and I had no problems.
So she wants me to study and I'm really not motivated. I feel like I got something missing in my room - my video games. Come on now like it's a break and stufff. Ugh, how do I deal with this!? How do I deal with my mother - who doesn't want to sit down and talk about a proper solution? She just came up with that schedule I talked about earlier while she was in the bathroom. That means that she's not taking things with her highest consideration. She's doing things on a whim. How do I deal with her? When am I gonna get my controllers? Why am I being treated as a 3 year old?
But I begun my session at like 1 AM so...
Best Answers: How do I deal with this - with my mother?
Wainamoinen | 6 days ago
I like your question. You are basically a good kid. You just like your games. Your grades are not exactly horrendous although obviously you have to get them up. Yes your mothers plan is kind of stupid. No one can study all day like that and you do need something to look forward to. Sounds like shes panicking a bit. Eeeek my kid is failing school omg i must be superstrict type deal.
And dude lets face it you keep on messing up with those controllers. Still it seems kinda mean to take them away.
I reckon you should come up with a plan. A schedule. Put some thought into it and write it down like you would a class schedule or something. Plan breaks and naps and sleep and study and game time. Do it real well and go heavy on the study.
Then go to her with your schedule and say "mom I have been thinking you are right i have been irresponsible and my grades have been slipping and i keep going a little crazy with the game controllers. I want to prove to you and to myself that i can be responsible and I have written out this schedule (do it on the computer for extra brownie points) that i really think I can follow. See it allows for study and sleep etc etc and also gives me a reward, something to look forward to with the game controllers as well as a chance to prove I can be responsible with them. I would really appreciate the chance to prove to both of us that i can get back on track."
If she says no to that then good luck dude you are screwed. If she negotiates thats a good sign. Roll with it but try and get what you want.
👍 280 | 👎 6
Did you like the answer? How do I deal with this - with my mother?
Share with your friends
Originally Answered: What is it with mother who just don't want to be mother anymore? Why did they have kids?
In the case of the 13-year old, I can understand giving him some responsibility. But, he is doing too much for a child his age. He will feel anxious, neglected, and his grades will probably suffer if this keeps up. Also, he will be more likely to fall in with a bad crowd since he is being given so much freedom and no oversight.
As for the younger kids, that is just very sad. It sounds like the parents are lazy, overworked, negligent, or apathetic. Whatever the reason, someone should call social services to make a few house calls. That might scare them into being actual parents.
ALSO I'm not so sure it is all the mother's fault. What happened to the FATHER's duties to care for and discipline his children, also? After all, he had half of the responsibility in creating the children, he does not get off the hook. I think BOTH parents are responsible.
Because you seem to have a problem with playing video games too much when you should be sleeping, studying, etc... you even admit this. And now your grades are suffering. You actually should grateful that your mother cares about you this much. I have friends whose parents wouldn't give a crap about any of this, which is sad when you really think about it. This shows your mom wants you to succeed and be productive.
Just be sure that when you grow up and move out there is more to your life than going to work and then coming home and playing video games, then sleep, then work, then video games, then sleep, then work, then games.... you get the picture. You don't want to be this boring, right?
👍 120 | 👎 -1
All she is doing is in your interest. Because you are still a child, you are unable to foresee the future and this is all she is worried about. The only solution is that you should obey your mother whole heartedly. In later life you would realize how correct was your mother and how foolish your behavior was.
👍 115 | 👎 -8
I use to play games for that long, even though I didn't finish them. It felt like if you're in another world away from problems. Is that when you know when you're addicted because if it is I'd rather be addicted than be in this life.
👍 110 | 👎 -15
Originally Answered: Why Does My Mother-In-Law Act The Way She Does?
OMG! I had this same prob. with my ex-mother-in-law !!! She would always do these little mischievous things to me, like when I tell my daughter no, shed say "well, why not?" Or "I think that she should be able to" in front of my daughter. Always under minding my authority!! And my other ex-sister-in-law had a picture with a saying in the guest bedroom where the mother would sleep that said something about others blowing out the light of a candle so that theirs could shine brighter, lol!!! Either she is a control freak, or she is jealous that another woman is replacing her motherhood and now you are number one to her son. I think that this is a common thing with women. But--- then again if your gut is telling you that she wants to marry him--- i'd listen to it, it's usually right!! She could have been one of those molester-type? Seriously, it does happen to boys as well. Id ask your husband about it if you are close enough to.Be very delicate when asking though. Arrrrh! I cant stand mothers like that!! I totally feel for you!! Ignore her as much as you can-and write her a letter that explains how she makes you feel.That way she can't talk back and start a fight and you can be careful about your wording, that's what I did and it worked. There was weird air afterwards, but at least she stopped! Good luck!!!
------Check out this Dr.'s research paper on the link below, its kwel !