How do you deal with someone who has an excuse for everything?
Topic: How do you deal with someone who has an excuse for everything?
June 19, 2019 / By Urbana Question:
My (15yr. old) stepdaughter thinks she's giving us "reasons" for all her screw-ups and after 3 yrs of teaching her the diff. she still comes up with the most assinine excuses for things. She has F's on the report card 'cause the teacher doesn't like her, she misses the bus like twice a week 'cause the alarm didn't go off (that one is soooooooo worn out), her room smells like *** because....etc. I'm going out of my mind with the stupidity.....She got an F on her report recently 'cause we were having problems with our computer...the neighbor across the street offered to let her use their computer and she said no because she couldn't go on myspace, so the report didn't get done....uuuugggghhhhh
She gets punished but it's no big deal to her...we take away the phone (her lifeline) and it doesn't faze her. She never goes out anywhere so there isn't really much else to take from her. I say when she doesn't go to school we should make her go out and rake the leaves or something. Make staying home from school NOT fun. She'll sleep all day when she's home.
the mother is only partly involved. she lives out of state and only talks to her periodically (when she's not in jail).
Best Answers: How do you deal with someone who has an excuse for everything?
Saundra | 10 days ago
In the workplace, your boss asks you to do something, he explains what he expects, and what the exact results are - which he is looking for (for you to achieve).
In the workplace, the boss never cares if your child was sick last night, if your car/computer broke down, or whatever - he cares for one single thing - achieve what he has asked you to do, exactly - on time.
You should explain this to her, and treat her exactly the same way.
We expect your average at school to be (XYZ) and above. Grades below this average will NOT be accepted what-so-ever - we simply don't care if you'll study one hour or ten to achieve our goal.
We expect you to catch the bus every single day, we do not care if the alarm goes off or not (someone btw could wake her up). "You simply have to catch the bus"..
Just like in the workplace, when you don't achieve a certain amount of work, you are affecting your career in a certain way.
Missing the busy = XYZ punishment (for example, no TV for a whole day).
F's = no allowance for XYZ days, and so on...
she's 15 - she's old enough, and by the way - she has to know that she's the only one who's taking these excuses seriously.
BTW - as Dr. Phil says - a step mom or step dad becomes a FRIEND (conversation, outings), and becomes an ASSISTANT (for example help her with her homework or hobbies) and a step dad or mom should NEVER EVER set RULES, that is not allowed and should be done by her non-step parents (both).
👍 268 | 👎 10
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Originally Answered: what are some excuse for not doing my homework?
first off its only the beginning of the year dont get behind now cuz its impossible to catch up,go in to school early go the teacher and say you were confused on the homework they will either basically do it for you and think that they are helping you and than they will think your a good student and like you alot better because you came in for help or there wont be enough time in the morning so when u go to tht class your teacher will know why you didnt do the homeowork
She has no self -discipline in more than one area.I would work on one thing at a time starting with her getting up on time in the morning.The alarm clock excuse is so worn out you say that I think that needs to be the first thing worked on.Have her set her alarm,you can set your alarm also for the same time.If her alarm clock does not go off then you can make sure to wake her up and get her off to school so she doesn't miss the bus again.Make sure she has a good breakfast every morning so her mnd is thinking clearly so she can get good grades.If you are not there to wake her up then try calling her on the phone.The main thing is getting her out of bed on time in the morning.The grades might come easier if she gets up on time and has a good breakfast.Having breakfast
is important for the mind.
👍 110 | 👎 2
You know what is sort of funny? You ask do we ever admit we're wrong. I'd like to know if anyone in recorded time has made more idiotic choices than I have. Truly. Paul said he was chief amongst sinners, I don't know. If he is, then I'm a close second. One day I had my head in my hands, talking to God about all this. You know what He said to me? "But the one thing you have right, is the only thing that is going to last". I believe in Jesus and I believe His word. And as He assured me, in time, everything else will be gone.
👍 101 | 👎 -6
Remind her that her excuses won't work when trying to get a job. I didn't graduate because... will get her a dirty look and the application thrown into the trash. She is 15. Time to tell her to grow up and realize all her "excuses" are lame and noone believes them. Wake up and smell the coffee, comes to mind. Treat her like you would an employee and everytime she gives an excuse just say, yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah.
👍 92 | 👎 -14
Just curious, is the other biological parent involved in her life? It’s possible that while your household is doing its utmost to deal with the situation, the other party is sending her a different message. If that’s the case, try to work with the other household so that you can present a united front.
I wonder too if your daughter could be depressed. Maybe you could try getting into some family counseling.
👍 83 | 👎 -22
teen act like 5 years old. take previlages away not phone text computer. the only things are you doing things with her go for pizza or go to ice cream place and do something fun with her then ask her to share what the problem the anwers will be deferent.
👍 74 | 👎 -30
Work backward. Tell her your expectations for her. Let her know the punishment you would be more than willing to dish out if she didn't shape up.
From there, whatever excuses she has is irrelevant.
👍 65 | 👎 -38
I think there's bigger problems than her just not following rules..people don't act out for no reason at all.
👍 56 | 👎 -46
Originally Answered: What was the lamest excuse you've ever heard a kid say to a teacher.?
I once told a parking attendant at my High School that me and my friend were "going to help some guy downtown move his store supplies". That's why we were walking off campus. I was legitimately surprised he didn't buy it (at the time). lol.
It was lame, yeah, but I got in a lot of trouble for that. Not from my parents, but the school.
That was a rough school. You couldn't do anything without somebody questioning it.