how do you sympathize with people who tell you depressing stories?
Topic: how do you sympathize with people who tell you depressing stories?
June 18, 2019 / By Aubrey Question:
The other day,a guy shared a very depressing story about his past. His girlfriend at the time cheated on him with his best friend. He was so heart-broken that he could not finish his college studies, so he dropped out and later became a policeman.
Now, I don't have too much experience in serious talk with others. I basically told him 'Aww, i'm sorry that happened.' 'you must have felt terrible.' but then i just ran out of things to say, while thinking frantically 'Should I give him advice?' 'Should I ask him if he has overcome it or would that be too personal?' 'Should make a joke and I try to cheer him up?' 'Should I bash his girlfriend?'
My question is what is your answer to these thoughts that I had running in my mind.
I know this might seem like 'common sense' but I'm really inexperienced! I would like to respond better when placed in another situation like this.
Best Answers: how do you sympathize with people who tell you depressing stories?
Abaigael | 5 days ago
Sometimes people just need someone that'll listen to what they say, not someone to solve their problems for them.
Whenever someone tells me a sad story, I just ask them how they feel about it now. In this case, a failed relationship, you could take this a couple ways.
You could console him if he's still sad. It sucks to lose friends and end a relationship, but remind him that these relationships ended for a reason. His friend and girlfriend betrayed him, and he is better off without them.
You could also focus on the positives. He may not have finished college, but becoming a police officer is still a great career. He has an opportunity to make a real difference in the world. Everyone goes through bad times, but we have to focus on life's little victories to keep us going.
If you're having trouble thinking what to say, ask questions about how he/she feels. That way you can get a better gauge on how they feel about the situation. As long as you are willing to listen and understand where they are coming from, that should help make them feel better.
👍 118 | 👎 5
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Originally Answered: Depressing Poem Topics?
Sometimes the darkest things, if expressed skillfully, can be the most beautiful.
Write about a past story, a haunting memory, a horrible relationship, a nightmare, or something real. The poem will be more alive if its based off something real. You can be outright bold and express the words as they are (ex. I came home and the sink was red. My sister had the knife above her head) or express them figuratively (ex. Red, shattered lies drop to the ground, Wishing there was a way to turn it all around).
Also, take a journal with you when you walk and jot down interesting things you see. A leaf with burned edges, a girl whose mascara is smeared, a car blaring depressing music, a cloud in the shape of a knife, etc. Take those bits and pieces and be creative with them
If you just want some random topics, here is also a list:
1) Mother/daughter relationship gone bad
2) Running away from home
3) The death of a little sibling
4) Unexplainable crying
5) Thinking about life backwards
6) Running to no where
8) An unclear memory of something deep
9) Losing a fight
10) Wanting to die but not being able to
Originally Answered: Depressing Poem Topics?
Well to express true depressing sadness, you have to show something happy then juxtapose it with something sad
Example: Like after being harassed and beat up at school with no friends, then meeting someone who becomes your best friend and its the happiest year of your life because you finally have a real friend to come to your birthday party, gets you a beautiful friendship bracelet and who doesn't spit in your hair, then the friend risks their life to save you then they die tragically by reveling their loyalty as a friend and your bracelet breaks with their death and then you go back to school and you realize nothing has changed no one knows what has happened that your best friend is dead and all they want to do is spit in your hair. Life lesson: The more you love someone the more it hurts when they are gone.
formula: tragic+unimaginable happiness+life ruining tragedy= tear jerking master piece.
In all "depressing story"telling, you can't properly sympathize. You'd have to be in exactly the same place as them to really understand and sympathize. But that won't happen. Ever. You live different lives, have different cicrumstances, different personalities, different ways of reacting to things, etc. So just listen. The gift of real listening is priceless. Say things like "I hear", or "mhmm"... etc. Show that you're listening and care for them. That's all they need. And this works for everything in life. Whenever you're in a sticky situation like this, try it. You'll see it works wonders.
Email me with any other questions.
👍 40 | 👎 -2
When I tell some one depressing stuff normally I just want someone who'll lesson to me. All I need is a sounding board. Normally giving advice to the person aggravates them, because they just need some one to say that sucks! and they just feel better because someone knows. That's how I feel about it anyways.
👍 36 | 👎 -9
Originally Answered: College Debt, Depressing.?
Apply for as much scholarships as possible. Plus work part time to get some money. I would advice you not to drop out of college. A college degree can make you get paid way more than someone with a H.S diploma. Here are some scholarship websites. Plus you should enter Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged essay contest for scholarships. Also try and get a 3.7 or higher GPA. Colleges can give scholarships for that
Just search for scholarships. There are even scholarships for someone's height. Please DO NOT drop out of college you will regret it. Think about your future family how will you provide for them?